January 3, 2008

Half Man Will Travel

Friday, October 5, 2007

"Fathers appear to us to love us without condition if only we can interpret
their complicated language.

Fathers move over expanses of time, across abysses of generations;

fathers move across impediments, opening out, softening, becoming unguarded, giving away rules of fathers to younger, angrier men; fathers, over time, become solicitous and kind,
regretful and warm, sensitive and even, gentle." **Rick Moody 'The Black Veil' page 21

The Harvest is come, and we must prepare to brine the turkey, stuffing it with lemons, oranges, and pears to roast in the cavity of the great bird; peel the apples, open the cans of pumpkin, roast all variety of root vegetables, and mashed potatoes; don't forget the butter and the links of pork sausage that cover the turkey like a dress.

I pause to think and to thank. I thank my many friends, who have given so much love and support in past four months since my heart attack. I thank them for all the love and support for so many years before that. If I can be half the man (and woman) that my friends have shown themselves to be.....I thank my family. The one I have created, and the one I was born into. If I have been half the man, let it be like my better half. The best thing that has ever happened to me was the day I became a father myself. There is no comparable feeling.

I thank my mother for her gentle healing touch on the face the day of my angioplasty, like so many other days so long ago.I can never forget the soft caress that only a mother can give, and only a son can receive.

And I thank my father, who is not with us, but who will always be with us. We are reminded of him and other fathers every time we sit down to eat and give thanks.I will remember the touch of his hands on the day he died, how strong and solid the handshake even as he sat there weakened beyond understanding with the weight of his own body, and the determined beating of his congested heart.Given the fact I share him with my four older brothers and two younger sisters, I am somewhat less than half of the man, but I inherited half the man's heart.It is my will to expand upon that heart, and thank him for his part in my creation, thank him for his part in my character, and to note that while I am a part of him, and he of me, I am not him. Not half the man, but my own whole man. Thank you.

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